Friday, April 20, 2012

the tunnel phase

sometimes being alone seems the worst thing. and in this span of time, everyone you meet seems to have the best time of their lives. don't really know how much of this is true but the fact remains that it sucks from the inside.
i just fail to understand that how at every moment the way you feel differs. at one moment you're so awesome and the next you are sulking so bad that you wish no one could even see you. and where does these signals come from in the first place?
is it bollywood movies?
or love birds songs?
or ur fav sitcom couple splitting?
or some mushy story?
or ur friends getting married?
or the happily ever afters?
whatever it might be, it really sucks! does everyone at some point goes through this phase in their lives? or is it just me?
okay it is really hard to say it out loud but i have screwed up everything. the relationship with my parents, my friends. everything. and i dont even know why i am just going on like this! i mean there will some way out of this whole web, right?

Sunday, April 15, 2012


its always after a long time i feel like writing again. but, this time i was wondering if i should really leave alone this blog and start a new one being this the new year and all and also considering the fact that i had almost given myself into believing that i had lived one part of my life which i will never smudge into. soon enough i realize that you never live life in parts and even if you chose to look at it that way, you're just shutting your eyes. the life you have lived never disappears.
And i am not saying this because i choose to exist in the past or am haunted by it or something. but things really never go away. the situations, similar situations keep coming back to you or right in to you and if you're eyes are shut, trust me you will occur in the very same way you once did.
hence, wise enough would be to be present to your own past and try to see what you did that didn't work for you. it helps.
so i have decided to stick to this one for the rest of my life. also, here's something that i want to take up. i know that i really don't feel right these days. at all. but i would go back to the happy-go-lucky-me. i sooo miss me. i really do. and all the crazy things i have done. i want to do them again. and many more. i wont let my life become any boring. and i give up worrying at this moment. cautious or not cautious....i landed up here. love, heart break, loneliness, friends, workload, happiness, tears, boredom, bosses..amidst all this i won't just survive..i'll LIVE!!